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Funny Jokes: Clean Comic Humor - * - 1 » 08:03 06 Mon May 2024

Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor

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  • 576 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    On a ski lift in Taos, NM: 'No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted.' Official sign near door: Door Alarmed. Handprinted sign nearby: Window frightened. Road sign seen on the island of Cyprus. (translation of the Greek): 'Caution: Road Slippery from Grapejuice' A sign advertising a Company wide skiing race: Let's see who can go downhill the fastest. Sign in King's Canyon in California. 'Slow Parking Ahead' A billboard seen next to the highway, travelling from Johannesburg International Airport into town. An Ad for BMW showing a photo of a BMW 328i convertible with the roof and all the windows down. The caption reads:' Our hardware runs better without WINDOWS!!!' Two signs found on top of one another in a country kitchen several years ago: Restrooms to the left. Please wait for the hostess to seat you. Seen in a health food store. "Shoplifters will be beaten over the head with an organic carrot" "Children left unattended will be towed at parents expense." I went to a little hole in the wall restaurant: the sign read: Women are not served here. You have to bring your own.

    2009/08/02 01:00 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 577 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations. At a Santa Fe gas station: "We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container." In a New York restaurant: "Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager." On the wall of a Baltimore estate: "Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.-Sisters of Mercy" On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: "38 years on the same spot." In a Los Angeles dance hall: "Good clean dancing every night but Sunday." In a Florida maternity ward: "No children allowed." In a New York drugstore: "We dispense with accuracy." In the offices of a loan company: "Ask about our plans for owning your home." In a New York medical building: "Mental Health Prevention Center"

    2009/08/02 01:00 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 578 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations. On a New York convalescent home: "For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church." On a Maine shop: "Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship." At a number of military bases: "Restricted to unauthorized personnel." On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: "Now available in multi-packs." In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: "Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work." In a funeral parlor: "Ask about our layaway plan." In a clothing store: "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks." In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: "15 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!" On a shopping mall marquee: "Archery Tournament-Ears pierced"

    2009/08/02 01:00 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 579 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations. Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques." In the window of an Oregon store: "Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?" In a Maine restaurant: "Open 7 days a week and weekends." In the vestry of a New England church: "Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished." In a Pennsylvania cemetery: "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves." On a roller coaster: "Watch your head." On the grounds of a public school: "No trespassing without permission." On a Tennessee highway: "When this sign is under water, this road is impassable." In front of a New Hampshire car wash: "If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car."

    2009/08/02 01:00 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

  • 580 » Best and Different Funny Jokes, Comic & Humor


    These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations. Sign in a realtor's office: "Lots for little." Sign in a shoe store: "Come in and have a fit." Sign in a maternity clothes store: "We are open on labor day." Sign in a non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." Sign on the door of the maternity ward: "Push Push Push." Sign at entrance of the IRS: "Watch your step." Sign at the exit of the IRS: "Watch your mouth." Sign in a bookstore: "We treat you write." Sign on a front door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."

    2009/08/02 01:00 - Sunday » jokes, dirty jokes, clean jokes, humor, comic

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